


Elevator Troubles

by Shadoow (Chikita)



Series: Haikyuu Omo Stuff (English) [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bad Jokes, Borderline crack, College Setting but not relevant, Desperation, Gen, Humor, Memes, No Canon Knowledge Required, Omorashi, Pee, Somewhat, Trapped In Elevator, Wetting, petty bickering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 00:17:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18418889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chikita/pseuds/Shadoow
Summary: After a long night of club-hopping, Iwaizumi gets caught short during the final elevator ride with Oikawa. Makki and Mattsun are meme boys and nightclub drinks can be quite intense, even those without alcohol. Iwaizumi had never been a fan of elevators, but this was getting a bit out of hand. Based on a real article about urine detectors in hotels. College Setting, Omorashi, but somewhat unconventional.





	Elevator Troubles

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Omorashi One-Shots (German)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16621628) by [Shadoow (Chikita)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chikita/pseuds/Shadoow). 



> Based on this funny article https://www.vice.com/en_au/article/av4gx4/atlanta-is-putting-uring-detectors-in-its-subway-elevators
> 
> I shouldn't be the only one who thought the article about urine detectors in hotels was a great prompt for omo. This is the 5th one of my original one-shots but I'm doing them out of order. Not a native speaker, just someone who digs omo.
> 
> Fic has more funny moments and I guess something resembling a story, but pls don't read if you can't handle super descriptive pee stuff. It's tame, but super descriptive. All characters are college students in this.

"Hey, Iwa-chan, stop pulling my arm, you're gonna rip it off!", Oikawa whined as his friend and current roommate Iwaizumi dragged him through the brightly illuminated city of nightly Tokyo. Actually, the former third years of Seijoh, including Matsukawa and Hanamaki, had only planned for a short sightseeing vacation in Tokyo. Now that they all went to different universities, they had even less time to spend together than before. So at some point during the semester break, they had all decided to book a trip to the city to have a bit of fun together, and more importantly, to escape the boring everyday life of a college student.

Iwaizumi had really been looking forward to the trip, at least at the beginning. But at the time he hadn't expected to become Oikawa's designed clubbing buddy and run from one bar to the next one in the middle of the goddamn night. "I'm always soo busy with studying at college. I just wanna have some fun for once.", he had said as he went to order two more glasses of those sugary, fortunately, alcohol-free drinks for himself and his partner. Iwaizumi was lucky enough that his best friend was so bad at holding his liquor that since his last birthday party, he had sworn himself to never touch a glass of that "hellish stuff", as he called it, again. Unlike most people who made such promises, he actually stuck to it, stubborn as he was. That was Iwaizumi's luck since Oikawa's antics were exhausting enough when he wasn't completely wasted on top of it.

Iwaizumi was still annoyed, despite the lack of alcohol, that he always had to watch Oikawa's drinks, just so that the guy could go to the restroom in peace. After all, he had consumed almost as much liquid as Oikawa did, and hadn't been to the bathroom for the entire evening. At some point, when they had arrived at their perhaps sixth bar of the night and Oikawa was busy flirting with one of the girls in the flashing lights of the disco ball, he had slipped away to do what he had been desperate to do for hours now.

Unfortunately though, the sign on the door of the men's room with the simple words "temporarily out of service" let his anticipation to finally be able to relieve himself die a horrible death. At the time, he would still have the faintest hope that "temporary" really meant temporary and not forever, and had tried to wait at the door, even though his bladder had already felt like it was about to _explode_. He thought that at some point they just had to unlock it. But the longer he kept waiting, the worse it got and after only a few minutes, he just couldn't take it any longer. With his mind clouded from desperation, he had managed to drag a surprised Oikawa away from his girl of the night and fled the nightclub with him.

Of course, Oikawa had complained as always, it was just two o'clock in the morning and in Oikawa's opinion, that was far too early to go to bed, but Iwaizumi couldn't care less about that. They still had quite a distance to walk to the hotel, if they didn't want to wait for a train, and Iwaizumi hadn't felt like he was able to force his bladder into holding out until then, given how many drinks he had that evening. In the following minutes, he was downright desperately searching for an empty alleyway, a tree or some kind of hedge, any place he could have used as an emergency option. But he had quickly realized that there were no secluded green spots in the middle of downtown Tokyo, and the dark alleyways weren't an option either. His paranoia had told him that he would probably be mobbed by gangsters if they went there, and he wasn’t about to risk both of their lives because he had to pee.

So he had made the final decision to walk back to the hotel as quickly as possible and ignore Oikawa's complaining about him being a killjoy for putting a stop to their club-hopping adventures. But then again, it would have been a dick move to leave his friend alone in the city at past midnight, so he had no choice but to drag Oikawa with him. By now they only had to pass a few streets until they would arrive at their hotel, but to Iwaizumi every step felt as strenuous as half a marathon.

\---

"Hey, Iwa-chan! What's the matter with you? Are you peeing yourself?", Oikawa asked, still clearly upset that Iwaizumi had interrupted his fun, and eyed his friend with one eyebrow raised up to his hairline. Iwaizumi was leaning against one of the street lamps, using one of his hands to steady himself as his body was shivering from the relentless pressure waves, that went right through his bladder. It was already so bad, that he found himself unable to walk another step. He grabbed himself again, legs tightly crossed and pressed together. The whole situation was terribly embarrassing and he hated acting that way in public, but he didn't know what else to do. His bladder was dangerously close to giving up at any moment now.

"Shut up, I'm nearly doing it!", he gasped breathlessly and tried to straighten up his upper body without straining his bladder with needlessly jerky movements. He didn't think he was able to last even a minute longer, but what other option did he have? It wasn't like he could just whip it out right there with all those people walking around. Although it wasn't a particularly warm evening, he already felt beads of sweat running down his forehead as he raised his head and looked up at his companion, who was frowning at him, almost looking concerned for his health by now.

"Let's go back...to the hotel," Iwaizumi said, breathing heavily, and for the first time during that night, Oikawa didn't make a fuss and just nodded in silent agreement. Passing the last few yards to their quarters felt like pure agony, but somehow he managed to remain in control and keep all of his clothes dry. However, that all changed abruptly as he finally stumbled through the front door of the hotel, where they were staying for the night. As he entered the building, his bladder seemed to take that as a signal to open the floodgates.

"Elevator!" he croaked, barely getting the words out, hurried to said elevators and smashed one of the buttons on the wall with all of his might. While they were waiting for the elevator to come, he had to bend forward again and press both of his hands between his legs, in a vain attempt to stop the faint dribbling, which had already started when he took the first step over the threshold of the hotel building. Usually, he would have taken the stairs, but getting up four floors by foot in his current condition seemed impossible, at least not without drenching both the stairs and himself in the process.

"Shouldn't we take the stairs instead, the elevators are always so slow?" Oikawa asked probably the most ridiculous question of the day, even though he wasn't completely wrong. It seemed like the elevator needed an eternity to even get down to the ground floor, and that really was a shame for such a modern hotel.

"Do I look like I'm able to climb the freaking stairs right now?", Iwaizumi snapped at him anyway and the very next moment, a sound escaped him that could well have been described as a whimper, as his bladder contracted in an unexpectedly violent manner, leaving him shaken up and weak at the knees. The wall next to the elevator served as a support, as he lost his balance and desperately tried to squeeze everything shut with his free hand.

The familiar sound of the elevator opening echoed through the hotel lobby and Iwaizumi threw himself right through the open door. Oikawa strolled after him and kindly took over the buttons. Slowly and with a jerking movement the elevator, obviously none of the newest models, started moving. Breathing heavily, Iwaizumi leaned against the back wall, clenched his teeth and tensed every controllable muscle in his abdomen to keep himself from having a full-blown accident. He had barely been able to stop the dribble and even though there weren't any tell-tale wet spots on his dark jeans, he knew that it wouldn't stay like this for more than a few seconds if he didn't try his hardest to fight against the incoming flood.

"F-Fuck!", he panted and squirmed against the urgency, as another spasm almost brought him to his knees, and as if to make everything worse, the buttons of his jeans pressed against his swollen abdomen, due to the sudden change in posture. He didn't even dare to unbutton them. The few milliseconds he would need to move his hands away from his crotch would surely cause the dam to break. What the hell was that weird stuff Oikawa had bought for him at the bar? This was even more intense than _any_ kind of alcohol he had ever consumed in his short life. Now he was no longer surprised that Oikawa had spent a good deal of their evening basically running from one restroom to the next. He just regretted that he hadn't done the same instead of waiting until he was about to explode.

"The girl from the last club was really cute," Oikawa said casually while tipping away on his phone as if they were having a lazy late-night conversation on the coach, the elevator still taking its sweet time, "I should have asked for her number, what do you think, Iwa-chan?" He looked at him expectantly and Iwaizumi wasn't sure if Oikawa had intended to distract him with his trivial chatter, or if he simply hadn't realized the urgency of his situation. He suspected the latter. It was Oikawa after all.

"Honestly, I _really_ don't give a shit about girls right now!" Iwaizumi answered almost whining and tried to cross his legs, which didn't seem to offer him any relief but instead almost put even more pressure on his overflowing bladder. His hands were barely helping anymore, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how tightly he held himself or how much pressure he applied. It felt as if he was trying to plug a hose, using only one finger to keep it from leaking, while someone turned on a faucet at the other end of it. Thinking about that was a mistake.

The pressure only got worse, his sphincter threatening to give in at any moment, and he was still locked up in this horribly misbehaving elevator, alongside his buddy Oikawa, who was sulking now, because Iwaizumi wasn't interested in his flirting habits and taste in girls. He couldn't take it. He had to go so freaking bad, that he couldn't think straight anymore and Oikawa's presence wasn't helping.

"Mean," Oikawa muttered as expected, crossed his arms over his chest and started pouting like a small child, "First you’re dragging me away from the party and now you don't even want to talk to me. It's not my fault that the restroom was out of order. Besides, you're being overdramatic." Iwaizumi’s jaw nearly dropped at his last statement, and he was overwhelmed by the sudden urge to strangle Oikawa. If he wasn't already occupied with trying to keep his bladder under control, he would have gone for it right away.

"You really don't get it, do you?", he snapped, glaring at him, "I'm not being overdramatic, I really have to go that badly! I'm not making this up for shits and giggles!" Did Oikawa seriously consider him to be such a good actor or was he just looking for a reason to blame him for his bad mood? He didn't know and he honestly couldn't care less. His abdomen was aching, his legs trembling and for the first time in his life, the simple urge to pee had managed to bring tears to his eyes. Why couldn't this fucking elevator just move a bit faster? Why couldn't he just leave the damn thing on a random floor and grab the next potted plant? Why the hell hadn’t he listened to Oikawa when he had suggested taking the stairs?

"We're only on the second floor. Wow.", Oikawa dryly commented upon the slowness of the elevator and let his eyes wander over the bluish-glowing buttons on the wall. He didn't even react to Iwaizumi's last statement, who was now starting to impatiently stare at the buttons as well, desperately waiting for the fourth button in the left row to light up. They only had two floors to go up now, he should be able to hold it that long. Maybe his optimism had been another mistake because apparently, some dark force in the universe wanted him to be their personal chew toy today. Instead of the third button, the button below that one lit up and all of a sudden, the button in the right row with the big "U" started blinking rapidly.

"Looks like we're going down to the basement.", Oikawa responded to the sudden change of course in a much happier tone, than it would have been appropriate in this horrible nightmare of a situation, and Iwaizumi felt as if someone had moved the ground under his feet to make him fall flat on his face. What kind of crime had he committed to deserve that?

"Are you fucking kidding me?", he gasped completely out of his mind, as another wave of pure urgency hit him and he looked down on himself in panic, breathing ragged and shallow. He tried to pinch it off, tried to hold back the masses of liquid that were trying to escape his grip, but he had no strength left. He was going to wet himself. It would happen, whether he wanted it or not. The last tiny remnant of his self-control was not slowly, but rapidly slipping away from him. He was at his limit with nowhere to go. And he wasn’t even close to a bathroom.

"Hey, why you're looking at me? I wasn't the one who programmed this thing.”, Oikawa grumbled before turning to him with his full body, hands on his hips and looking at his friend with narrowed eyes. For a brief moment, the two held eye contact before Iwaizumi felt his body get racked with a violent shudder, a final contraction of his bladder forcing the rest of his body to give up for good. That was it. He was about to lose it.

Groaning desperately, he turned on his heel, set his sight on the rear left corner of the elevator, and as he was still struggling with the buttons of his shorts, he felt himself leaking again. His fingers were trembling way too much for him to be able to pull the zipper down in time. His boxers were now almost completely soaked through by the constant dribbling and in the background, he only heard Oikawa randomly smashing several buttons in panic.

"Iwa-chan, what the hell, you can't be serious!", Oikawa complained as he turned back to him after his failed attempt at making the elevator's buttons suffer for their misery. His eyes were wide in horror and his mouth was left open, as Iwaizumi briefly turned his head to him to answer.

"Shut up, Shittykawa, I can’t help it, okay?", Iwaizumi yelled back at him while he was still desperately trying to undo his tight jeans. He couldn't hold it back, couldn't wait for even just a second longer. The only thing he could try to do now was limit the damage.

"You can't just pee in the corner, that's gross!", Oikawa immediately objected to his plans and started waving his hands through in the air, as if he was freaking out at the mere thought of it.  
"It's either the corner or my pants!", Iwaizumi replied and so he did it. Of course, he wasn't exactly doing something honorable, but it was an easy choice between his pants and a corner in the elevator. After all, he hadn’t paid for the elevator with his own money.

"I can’t believe it.", Oikawa said dumbfounded as an unmistakable splattering sound filled the silence of the elevator, making it obvious that this was really happening. Iwaizumi could almost feel his friend’s eyes burning into his back. He could picture him with his arms crossed and his face scrunched up in disgust, judging him harder than his mother had always done when he would leave his dirty laundry on the floor of his room at home. But now that he was finally getting sweet, sweet relief, Iwaizumi couldn't bring himself to care. Oikawa could make a fuss as much as he wanted. It was just a dumb elevator. A shaky sigh escaped his lips as he continued to relieve himself in the corner he had chosen after he had finally managed to unzip his jeans.

His legs were still shaking and he had to steady himself with one hand on one of the walls next to him, to not lose his balance and trip over air. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so close to pissing his pants as an adult. However, a quick glance at the not completely drenched, but still fairly wet material of his jeans confirmed, that strictly speaking, he actually did piss himself, if just a little bit. But he wouldn't have to tell anyone, as long as Oikawa kept his mouth shut.

The further his bladder emptied, and the more his thoughts cleared up, the realization of what exactly he was doing there hit him like a brick to the head. The tin wall, he had directed his powerful stream against, caused the splattering noise to echo even louder in the small space, and that was more than a little awkward. After taking a brief look at the size of the growing puddle on the floor, he tried to stop halfway through, but his muscles were too overworked, too exhausted to be tensed up for more than a second.

It took a while before he was completely empty. Left was a slightly numb feeling and a dull ache that reminded him of sore muscles after overdoing it at volleyball practice. He avoided taking another look at the puddle, he just hoped that it wasn't going to spread any further. After straightening his clothes he turned back to Oikawa, who was leaning on the opposite wall, arms crossed over his chest and shooting him a disapproving look. Embarrassed, Iwaizumi wiped his wet hands on his jeans and frowned back at his friend. He wasn't particularly proud of what he had done there. Peeing in elevators was certainly not a trivial offense, but it wasn’t as if he had done it for fun.

"For fuck's sake, don't give me that look!", he growled in Oikawa's direction before scratching his head in genuine remorse and averting his eyes, "Sorry, alright? I really couldn't hold it anymore, it was just...an emergency. I’m not about to do it again anytime soon." As he dared to take a second look at his friend, his facial expression seemed a lot softer and less grim than it did a few seconds ago.

"You’re feeling better now?" he asked quietly, not sounding as if he was mad at him or disgusted. He seemed almost understanding and that was more than he had expected.  
"Much better," Iwaizumi admitted, letting out a relaxed breath, "Everything’s better than being about to explode." He hadn't noticed it through all the stress of their nightly trips, but now he felt so slack and wobbly from exhaustion, that he would have loved to just crash out on the soft, freshly made bed in their shared hotel room. Speaking of hotel rooms, why the hell were they still rotting away in this stupid elevator when they should have been in the corridor leading to their assigned room already?

Iwaizumi was about to press one of the buttons to at least get out on a random floor, even if it ended up being the basement. Now that he wasn’t about to burst, he was willing to take the stairs, and he was sure that Oikawa wouldn't mind either. His fingers hadn’t even touched any of the buttons yet, when suddenly out of nowhere, a loud beeping sound made him jump in surprise, and the very next moment all the lights in the elevator went out. Oikawa reacted to the sudden change of atmosphere with a frightened and utterly unmanly cry, that sounded even more unpleasant in Iwaizumi’s ears than the previous beeping noise.

"Was that the fire alarm?" he asked in a panicked voice, "Is there a fire out there? Are we gonna burn to death? Iwa-chan, what should we do now, I'm scared!” Anxiously and not overreacting at all, Oikawa clung to his arm and tugged at his sleeve like a frightened child. Iwaizumi was already used to this kind of behavior after being Oikawa's friend for over ten years, but that didn’t make it any less annoying.

"We won't die, you idiot! There isn't any fire. I'm pretty sure this just a normal blackout.", Iwaizumi tried to talk him out of his concern about unrealistic worst-case scenarios, although he himself was getting nervous as well. Someone should sue the owner of the hotel for those faulty elevators alone. They weren't exactly easy on one's mental health, neither on his nor on Oikawa’s. While Iwaizumi was trying to think of something to get them both out of this terrible situation, Oikawa stopped crushing his arm for a moment to get his smartphone out of his pocket. Brows furrowed in concentration, he stared at the tiny display whose shining light made his face look like he was a stereotypical storyteller in a horror movie.

Meanwhile, Iwaizumi went over to press the emergency button, hoping that someone would pick up and get them out of this cage as quickly as possible. As for now, no one seemed to answer and slowly, he was starting to get more than pissed. How was it possible for a hotel to receive so many five star reviews on the internet, when not even the emergency call seemed to work properly. The whole debacle was infuriating. He was sure to file a complaint against the hotel tomorrow...or today, given that it was already well past midnight. His eyes were stinging and his feet started to hurt from standing on the same spot all that time.

"Iwa-chan, you’re aware that we're just stuck in here because of you, right?" Oikawa asked after a while, not looking up from his cell phone, sounding as if he had just quoted a line from Wikipedia. Confused and slightly offended, Iwaizumi turned to face him. Why did Oikawa always have to look for a scapegoat when they got into unpleasant situations like these? And why did Iwaizumi have to be the one to take the blame for a broken elevator?

"What's that supposed to mean?" Iwaizumi asked, provoked by his friend’s stupid accusations, a grimace distorting his face, "Are you telling me we're only stuck because I peed in the corner? I already told you I'm sorry, what more do you want?" The very thought that he was to blame for their predicament seemed ridiculous by all means.

"That’s pretty much it.", Oikawa replied dryly and held his cell phone up to Iwaizumi's nose with his chin raised and a smug look on his face. Iwaizumi squinted at the display's light, which was far too bright in the dark room, and let his eyes wander over the text that belonged to an online article of some kind of news portal.

"Following Singapore’s steps, Japan is now taking severe actions against public urination. In multiple hotels in major Japanese cities, elevators have been equipped with a urine detector, which triggers an alarm if it detects urine and closes the doors until the police arrives.” he read the first part of the text aloud and all of a sudden, he felt sick to his stomach, even though he had sworn to not believe a single word of that nonsense.

"Makki linked me the article on Line a few weeks ago. They’re actually doing that for quite some time now. I’m not making this up.", Oikawa assured him, still looking smug, "They lock you up when you urinate in the elevator, and then you’ll have to pay a fine or something."

"That's obviously satire!", Iwaizumi objected, refusing to believe anything the article said, "Especially if it's from Makki. He's just messing with you, you _know_ he does!” But really, he definitely wouldn’t put it past their self-proclaimed memelord to send Oikawa some satirical articles and then have a good laugh with Mattsun, because Oikawa took every one of them seriously, especially the ones about alien abductions. Urine detectors in elevators? That was one of the stupidest inventions he had ever heard of! Wouldn't it be a deprivation of liberty to basically imprison someone just because they had to pee?

"Well, I’ve told you that peeing on the floor is a bad idea." Oikawa muttered, "Besides, you could have used the restroom in the lobby if you had actually used your brain a few minutes ago." Oikawa's last statement felt like a punch to the gut. Yes, why didn't he just fucking do that? Every decent hotel out there had restrooms on the ground floor. And why the everloving fuck couldn’t Oikawa just tell him that when it mattered, instead of rubbing it in his face afterwards.

"Why didn't you just remind me, that there were bathrooms down there?", he pressed through gritted teeth and clenched his fists as a strange kind of rage crept up his body. He wasn’t even sure who he was mad at, himself or Oikawa? They had both screwed up quite a bit, but at least he had the better excuse. He hadn’t been able to think straight at the time, given that he’d had to focus all of his brain capacity on keeping his jeans dry.

"Yeah, sure..as if you would’ve listened to me. You were yelling "elevator" and then you just stormed off like I dunno...superman," Oikawa said and went straight back to frowning with his hands on his hips, judging him hard and obviously still very sore about the missed party.  
"Yes, because I was on the verge of pissing my fucking pants, you dumbass!", Iwaizumi snapped and immediately flinched in shame, as if he feared that the whole hotel had been listening to his confession, "You could have told me, and then we wouldn't have taken the elevator and wouldn’t be stuck in here like zoo animals." A clearly audible vibration sound interrupted their little quarrel and four eyes landed on the flashing display of Oikawa's smartphone. They were lucky to even have cell phone reception in there.

"It's Makki.", Oikawa said, eyes wide in surprise and decided to answer their friend’s call immediately. If Makki was still awake, the same could probably be said for Mattsun, too.  
"Hey, Makki, how are you?", Oikawa greeted him cheerfully as if he hadn’t just been involved in a stupid argument with Iwaizumi about toilets in hotel lobbies and other trivial issues. Iwaizumi noticed that Oikawa had put him on speaker and Iwaizumi wasn't sure if he wanted to be included in the conversation at all, but at least then he would know if they were talking shit about him.

"Overworked and underpaid, so not that well!", they heard a distressed sounding voice from the speaker. Iwaizumi had been friends with him and Matsukawa for a long enough time to know, that something even more silly was about to follow, "Mattsun and I wanted to play some monopoly, but it's not fun if it's just the two of us. We thought you might wanna join, but you seem to have better things to do. And now Mattsun’s hogging all the cash and exploiting me like the capitalist oppressor he is.”

Iwaizumi sighed at the feigned drama he was already used to from spending most of his free time with Oikawa, and in some rare situations, he even found it slightly amusing. Unfortunately, this wasn't one of those situations and he honestly didn't feel like laughing at all. Over the speaker, they were able to hear the voice of Matsukawa, who added his own comments on the subject, mostly consisting of memes. Iwaizumi could picture the two of them very well, splayed out on their hotel bed, dressed in baggy shirts and sweatpants and throwing board game pieces at each other, and all that in the middle of the night.

“Who even plays board games at three o'clock in the morning?", he just had to ask after taking a look at his watch, "Shouldn’t you be in bed already? It's pretty late. Aren't you tired at all?" If Iwaizumi had the choice, he would have been in bed by no later than eleven pm. “Nah...sleep is for the dead," Mattsun answered this time, ironically accompanied by a long drawn out yawn by Makki. Iwaizumi was sure, that the two of them definitely wouldn't be able to get out of bed the next morning, at least not without him and Oikawa literally dragging them outside in their underwear.

“Mattsun's right. What are you two even doing without us? You’re not in bed either. Still getting wasted in some rusty old club? Sounds pretty quiet for a club though, must be a boring one. The only thing we know is, that you can't be in your room, we already knocked about...five times at least an hour ago. You're not ignoring us on purpose, are you?”

"Iwa-chan peed in the elevator and now we're stuck in here." Oikawa immediately confessed the truth and said Iwa-chan felt a sudden warmth creep up his neck. Great. Now he had to listen to their stupid comments as well. It was quiet for a while until one of them, Makki or Mattsun, he couldn’t tell, suddenly started giggling. It wasn't like he had expected anything else, though. Groaning in a mixture of embarrassment and annoyance, Iwaizumi covered his face with one hand and closed his eyes against the shame, even though it didn't really help to make him feel better. Perhaps it hid some of his blushing, that only Oikawa could see anyway.

"Wow, that sure sounds like you're having lots of fun. You could probably throw some wild parties in there. Elevators are awesome and toilets are overrated,” Hanamaki said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, “How many hours were you even stuck that he had to do that?"

"Not that long, maybe fifteen minutes?", Oikawa said thoughtfully and of course, Hanamaki and Matsukawa had to use this phrase as a hook to ridicule their former teammate even more than they were already doing. Usually, Oikawa was always the main target for their jokes, but that’s because Oikawa was usually the one, who provided them with tons of material, that one could make jokes about.

"Wow, just a quarter? Lol! And Mattsun always teases _me_ for having a weak bladder. You really hit the jackpot today, Iwaizumi,” Makki joked and now Iwaizumi really felt like the biggest fool the world had ever seen. A fool who had peed in an elevator, like some drunk hobo.  
"What kind of weird stuff did you even drink, that you had to go that badly? Nettle tea? Cranberry juice? Vodka laced with diuretics? All three of them mixed in a cocktail? Dude, that's hardcore!" Iwaizumi groaned once more and gripped at his short hair in frustration. What would he give for a pair of earplugs at that moment...

"I think you’ve got something wrong, Makki. The whole peeing in the elevator thing happened before we got stuck. In fact, it was the cause for our current...problem," Oikawa immediately felt the need to clarify and then went on to offer a long and dragged out explanation about how they got into this strange situation in the first place, without leaving out any "important” details. From the broken toilets in the nightclub to the dysfunctional elevators and of course, the pretty young lady at the bar, who hadn’t even been Oikawa's type. He needlessly mentioned that he wasn’t normally into redheads, but at least she had a cute pointy nose and smelled like a mixture of milk bread and cheap vodka.

"So, did I get all of that correctly?", Matsukawa asked unnaturally composed, and as he kept talking, the words came out very strained, as if he had to hold himself back, "You were in a bar together and Iwaizumi had to piss like crazy, so you went back to the hotel, but then the elevator started freaking out and he ended up doing it on the floor. And because the elevator had some kind of urine detector, you are now locked in there until some police dude lets you out again?” The way he phrased it made it sound even more ridiculous. Iwaizumi was about to say something in his defense, when he heard loud, almost hysterical laughter from the other end of the line, followed by a dull thud and something like a squeak, and even more wheezing laughter.

"Makki just fell out of bed." Matsukawa explained and gasped for breath as if he was about to choke at any moment, "If he broke his neck, you would have been responsible. Both of you. You could have killed him, you guys are crazy!", Iwaizumi seriously wondered if it would have been less embarrassing if he had just whipped out his dick in front of everyone on the street or wet himself voluntarily, instead of getting trapped in an elevator and having to endure not only Oikawa’s sore mood but also all of the “funny” comments by Makki and Mattsun.

"I’d hate to sue my best friends, but I would do it anyway. At least if I wasn’t already dead and smelling like it," they heard the playfully outraged response of their victim, just a few seconds later, “But seriously, you guys are hilarious! I've heard of people who got stuck in elevators, but people who pee in elevators and then get locked up in there…if I mention that to any of my project group buddies, they won’t believe a single word of it!” Apparently, he wasn’t aware, that he had been the one to come up with the whole newspaper article about urine detectors, but he had probably forgotten about that long ago, in order to clear his mind and make fun of something else.

“Could you maybe _not_ tell the whole world about it?”, Iwaizumi asked hopefully, but he knew that he had to keep a realistic view of the situation. Makki was horrible at keeping secrets in general and all he had to do was tell one of the blabbermouths in his study group, and the story would spread like wildfire. He would end up being the next big joke at all of the surrounding universities, and only because he hadn't been able to make it to the bathroom in time. With friends like Makki and Mattsun, you didn’t need enemies after all.

“But honestly, Iwaizumi always acts like he's so sophisticated with his good grades and his law studies, but in reality, he’s a bad boy just like us. Nah, he’s probably even worse,” Matsukawa continued talking in this super serious tone, that Hanamaki seemed to adore, given how he was howling with laughter already, and Iwaizumi wouldn’t feel sorry if he fell off the bed again, “What kind of offense even applies here? Property damage? Obscenity? Indecent exposure? Is that only worth a fine or can you go to jail for that? If you do end up in jail, I’ll make sure to visit and play despacito in front of your cell, because that would be really fucking sad.”

“It’s probably just a fine and Iwa-chan can pay it himself. I’ve tried to talk him out of it after all, but he just did it anyway.” Oikawa grumbled, getting somewhat fidgety himself now, and Iwaizumi would have paid a double or even a triple of the fine if it meant escaping this awfully embarrassing situation. His ears were already burning hot and he knew that the surge of bad jokes had only just begun and that Mattsun and Makki would continue to torment him if he didn’t put an end to it.

"By the way, your battery is nearly empty, if you haven’t noticed yet.", Iwaizumi pointed out to his friend, subtly informing him, that it might be a good idea to hang up before his phone was dead for the night. Just to save the battery, of course, not because he wanted Makki and Mattsun to finally shut up and stop teasing him for his mishap. It would be unfortunate if they lost their only contact with the world outside through outdated memes and lousy jokes. Unfortunately, he had left his own smartphone in the hotel’s bathroom, which was kind of ironic actually.

“Well then, have fun in your ridable bathroom stall!”, Hanamaki joked and his voice sounded quite rough and hoarse after all that laughter, almost like that of a chain smoker, “I’ll pray that you won’t have to spend all night in there. Probably doesn’t smell that great either.” Matsukawa mumbled something under his breath, that Iwaizumi didn’t understand, but it was certainly some bullshit he didn’t want to understand anyway, and a only a few seconds later, the connection was cut off and they were alone again.

For a short moment, Oikawa frowned at his phone, which would end up in low-power mode sooner or later. It’s wasn’t pitch black but as for now, Oikawa’s phone was the only real light source they had for at least another half an hour. At some point, it would die and they would have to stand in the dark. Maybe he should really make Oikawa call the police, fire department or anyone else who would help them get out, instead of laughing at their misery and making memes about it.

But if the detector, if there was any detector, actually worked like the article said, someone had to come and save them at some point. They couldn’t possibly leave them to rot in there for all eternity, or even just for the short rest of the night. If he had been taught anything during his law courses at college, he knew that this was a major violation of human rights, property damage and obscenity laws be damned.

“So, if we really have no choice but to stay the night, I’ll be sleeping on this side of the room.”, Oikawa announced, as if they were on some kind of school trip with an overnight stay, leaned against the wall of the elevator, as far away from Iwaizumi as possible, and slid down until he was sitting on the floor with bent legs, “You’ve already marked your territory after all.” With a limp wrist, he pointed to the puddle in the corner, which acted as a reminder for the felony Iwaizumi had committed. Sighing in defeat, Iwaizumi did the same and allowed himself to slump against the wall next to his friend, but without sitting on the floor. He wasn’t particularly crazy about getting the seat of his pants even more wet than it already was.

Fortunately, it didn’t take long before a cracking noise from the intercom system called for their attention. For a few seconds, nothing could be heard but another faint crackling sound and after that, a deep masculine voice finally started talking to them through the speakers.

"Hello? This Saito from the security service. Is everything alright in there?" Finally! They were saved at last and wouldn’t have to stay in there forever. Now it would hopefully only take a few minutes before someone was sent to get them out of this godforsaken elevator.  
"No, my back hurts. And it's stuffy in here, the whole place smells like urine.", Oikawa replied to the man, and scrunched up his face in mock disgust, even though nobody but Iwaizumi could see.  
"He meant if any of us are injured, you idiot!", Iwaizumi growled before making his way to the intercom to answer, "We're fine. When can you get us out of here?”

“If all goes well, we’ll get you out in five minutes. Unfortunately, there was a technical malfunction of the emergency call center on top of all the elevators breaking down. We couldn’t receive any calls. We’re terribly sorry for the inconvenience, something like this shouldn’t happen at all, but it did. Right now, we can only do our best to fix the system as quickly as possible.”, the voice continued and Iwaizumi was glad, that the man seemed to regret the incident just as much as he did.

He dearly hoped that something like this wasn’t a regular occurrence in this hotel, but on the other hand, it was quite infuriating, that the system had to break down on the same day and time, he and Oikawa were riding that freaking elevator. The same elevator, he had just used as a makeshift toilet a few minutes ago. The mere thought of having to face other people now drew even more heat to his face. He couldn’t remember when he had been so ashamed the last time in his life. Maybe he had actually broken a world record for blushing or something.

The man from the security service had been right, though. In just a little more than five minutes, they had managed to get the elevator up to the first floor, so they were able to open the door from the outside with the help of two technicians. According to his watch, they hadn’t even been locked in for more than half an hour and yet, it had felt like half a day. The very first thing Iwaizumi did, as the worried faces of the elder men appeared on his vision, was to take a deep bow, thank them and also express his apologies for his little mishap.

“I swear I didn’t do it on purpose,” he murmured remorsefully, “I’ll pay the fine too if I have to. It’s alright.” As he tried to make the best out of the situation, he could hear Oikawa giggling in malicious glee, but he would kick his ass later when he wasn’t paralyzed with shame and practically glowing from head to toe.

“You don’t have to pay anything, lad.”, said the oldest man with a hearty laugh and placed a wrinkly hand on Iwaizumi’s shoulder, as if he were his grandfather or his uncle, “I’ve seen worse in my job. The caretaker’s gonna mop the floor quickly and it’ll be all back to new. Don’t worry. Accidents happen.” Iwaizumi felt a heavy weight lift from his heart, but he was still extremely embarrassed, even more so now that the man was coddling him like a grade schooler. He didn’t dare to address the whole matter with the urine detector and perhaps, it was better to not bring it up at all. Maybe the whole story had been bullshit, just as he had thought.

\---

 

After thanking them both a few more times and listening to their own apologies for locking them up in the elevator for such a long time, Oikawa and Iwaizumi finally made their way back to their hotel room. They were still walking down the long corridor but Iwaizumi felt as if he was going to faint on the spot any minute. Another glance at his watch told him not only, that his sight was slightly blurred from fatigue, but also that it was already past three. They had to hurry and fall asleep as soon as possible if they didn’t want to oversleep and miss the city tour they had planned for the upcoming morning.

"I'm so tired, Iwa-chan!", Oikawa complained with a yawn and clung to his friend's back, as he had always done as a child and even as a middle schooler when he had injured or overworked himself at volleyball practise and refused to walk home on his own.  
“I’m not carrying you all the way back to our room," Iwaizumi immediately cut him off and tried to shake off the extra weight on his back. Oikawa however, took that as a sign to cling to him even more and wrap his arms around his friend’s midsection like an overly affectionate toddler.

"But Iwa-chan, can’t we just...uahh!", he suddenly cried out and drew his hands back instantly, "Eww...you’re still all wet down there. And now I touched it! That’s so gross!" annoyed by his tactless complaining, Iwaizumi quickened his pace until he stood in front of their shared room and rummaged through his pocket for the key card. Oikawa followed, grumbling quietly and shifting his weight from foot to foot, but this time Iwaizumi was the first one to get to the bathroom, and before Oikawa could even step into the room, Iwaizumi had already locked the bathroom door behind himself.

"Iwa-chan, how mean! I wanted to go first. You just peed but I already have to go again. That’s not fair, you can’t just lock me out like that,” Iwaizumi heard the muted whining of his roommate from outside the door. The words made him grin in spite of his usual annoyance at his friend’s childish behavior. So much for having a small bladder. But what Iwaizumi needed now was a hot shower. His jeans and underwear were still uncomfortably sticking to his skin in all sorts of places, and he was quite a bit sweaty as well. It wouldn’t kill Oikawa to wait a few minutes until he had at least finished showering.

"Iwa-chaan! Hurry up, will ya? I’ve had a lot of that fruity stuff at the bar and now I really gotta pee, seriously!”, he almost yelled and went to trample on his nerves right away, as Iwaizumi had expected, and it didn’t take him long to start banging on the door as well. Apparently, he had a bit of a different view on that whole “waiting” thing. Meanwhile, Iwaizumi was calmly peeling off his not-exactly-dry but not-exactly-wet jeans and ignored the fussing nuisance outside the door.

“You’re being overdramatic,” he replied sardonically, fully aware of how he meant it and chuckled when that comment earned him an offended gasp from Oikawa, that morphed into a high-pitched whine when Iwaizumi turned on the water to adjust the temperature before he would get into the cubicle himself. If there was something he hated besides bad puns, elevators and despacito, it was cold water in the shower. He ignored the frustrated complaints from outside, grabbed his body wash and razors and finally stepped into the shower, smiling in ease. Showering usually only took him a few minutes. Surely, Oikawa would be fine until then. Probably...And if not, that wasn’t really his problem right now.


End file.
